Friday, October 9, 2009

Mario Cipollini. The man, the myth. The dancer?

Like punching a baby in the face for the sake of getting a cheap laugh, bringing up Mario Cipollini's name is both easy and effective. Merely thinking about the greasy Italian (and his horse face) brings up such comical memories as these:

The time that Mario caused a 67 rider pile-up as a result of wanting to share a new Right Said Fred remix from his mini disc player with a teammate.

What about the time that Cipollini single-handedly made Cinelli into the joke we know them to be today, thus starting a downward spiral for the company that would end in this year's Interbike...during which Cinelli's president let us all know that he basically hopes to fall on a sword very soon, rather than continue selling color coordinated, pimp-inspired bike mutations.

While these are all great memories, I'm happy to report that much like herpes...Cipollini just wont go away. Sure, his Rock Racking comeback was short (unlike his face), but there are always avenues for the man to express his douchebag craft. For example, consider the video below...which I've uploaded to YouTube as my gift to the world, it's a video of Cipollini on Dancing With The Stars. This video proves a point I've been trying to make for some time, that Cipollini's celebrity status in Italy is on par with that of Melissa Joan Hart and Aaron Carter here in the US of A. Impressive.

But there's more. Oh yes, there's more. He was also featured on the Italian version of Punk'd. The premise for this video is the following: A kind man in a tiny car tells him that some dudes broke into his house and stole all his bikes. A minute later, an RV goes by with all his bikes...and thus, the men in zebra stripes give chase. Watch and learn.


  1. I thought Cavendish was crude. That is the ugliest stem i have ever seen.

  2. Cipo - the man, the myth, the dancer, and the sweet inspiration for Halloween Costumes galore this year!

    Great blog! Looking forward to reading more here.

  3. Cipo is a god. This blog wreaks of bitterness and jealousy.

  4. wreaks? is that like reeking, but worse?

  5. Mario Cipollini is the best ciclyst of the world...and he is also a gorgeous man...
    This is why men are jealous!

  6. what about Cannondale? What did he do to that bike maker?

  7. Such bitter words on bitter blog. Horse face? I'm sure he's a happy guy without the time to google his own name and stumble upon your sad little blog. Not to worry. He's likely busy with a gorgeous woman counting his money and reminiscing about his hundreds of wins.

    And what have you done, author, to talk about?

  8. this is a hilarious post. the people defending him like he's a 2 year old golden retriever with self esteem issues really take it to the next level though


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